why bother getting married ?
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Tim 2:15
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Mike's Study Notes
Week 4, March 23: Why Bother Getting Married?
When looking at this topic we have to understand that we are addressing this topic according to God’s word. If we are to answer this question outside of God’s word then it really does not matter what the answer is because it will just be whatever the world feels is right. So to answer this question outside of God’s word the easy answer would be “No” you don’t NEED to get married, only if you want to or you feel you should. But we know that is not correct according to God’s word. So why is marriage a big deal to God?
I. First of all we have to understand that marriage is not an invention of man. God instituted marriage.
Gen 2.18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Gen 2.21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Marriage is instituted by God
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Heb 13.4 Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
I Cor 7.8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
This may not have any significance but when and where did God perform his first miracle?
John 2.2-11
II. What exactly is Marriage?
Marriage was designed for companionship and intimacy
Mal 2.14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet [is] she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
It's not the "ceremony" that's important in a marriage, it's the couple's covenant commitment before God and men.
And this is where some people say that “the marriage ceremony isn’t for us or God its for everyone else. I don’t need to get married in a ceremony to show everyone else that I love this person.”
This is what I love about the bible…it has an answer for everything:
Rom 12.17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
II Cor 8.21 Providing for honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men.
I Tim 5.14-15 14I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.
Some people think that “God knows our heart and understand our “union” so there is no need for a piece of paper.”
You need to ask yourself what marriage is, and why you will not perform the marriage ceremony. If you seem to think that you and your significant other are going to be together for life; and you seem to be saying that, by living with this person is promising to “leave your father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”; that by living together, it’s as good as if they were really married. Ah, but there’s the problem, isn’t it? If you’re doing this because you’re saying, “It’s the same as really being married,” then why not just *really* get married?? They can go to the courthouse any day of the week, spend a small amount of money (probably less than $100), and have a legal marriage in the eyes of both God and man.
Rom 13.1-2 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
Even if we were to point to the old testament and say that there were many that did not marry, guess what, that does not apply to us
Rom 7.6 But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not [in] the oldness of the letter.
III. Living together without being married –Fornication
Now we are going to get into the meat of the matter so to speak. The main reason that marriage is encouraged is to prevent us from committing the sin of fornication. Fornication is loosely defined as sexual immorality or illicit sexual intercourse.
All sexual relations outside of marriage are forbidden by God and are referred to as fornication, a sin which had the death penalty under the Old Covenant. Under the New Covenant one can be forgiven and purified by the blood of Christ. It is a sin, however, which is extremely damaging to those concerned, to society and to marriage as an institution.
"Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. 13:4).
From this text we see once more that marriage is pure and holy. Fornication and adultery damage marriage, however, and God will hold those who engage in such practices responsible on the day of judgement.
Here is something to think about…If you are unmarried and living together can you really have a ministry together? Single people focus on the ministry of God and married people focus on the ministry of God and ministering to their families, so if you lie in between then what type of ministry do you have?
I Cor 7.32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife.
34 There is difference [also] between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
If you go out on a date and some doesn’t treat you right and you discover that you are not compatible, you don’t stay with them, you date someone else. The point of dating someone is to find someone you are compatible with. You don’t continue to date the same person for year after year and string that person along if you have no intent to marry them because you are becoming stagnant. Once you find that person then are looking to move to the next phase of your life, the next phase of your ministry. Look at it this way, if you are not single and you’re not married but you’re more than just dating because you live together then what exactly are you as a couple? If that all sounds kind of confusing, then is it of God, for God is not the author of confusion.
It is not biblical to consider a couple who have had sexual intercourse—but who have not observed any of the other aspects of a marriage covenant—to be married. Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 7:2 indicate that sex before marriage is immorality.
I Cor 7.2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
If sexual intercourse causes a couple to become married, it could not be considered immoral, as the couple would be considered married the moment they engaged in the act. There is absolutely no biblical basis for an unmarried couple to have sex and then declare themselves to be married, thereby declaring all future sexual relations to be moral and God- honoring.
Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin
I Cor 7.8-9
Did God say go and live together peaceably? Or did he say go and dwell together in my word? No.
Acts 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and[from] fornication, and [from] things strangled, and [from] blood.
1 Corinthians 5:1 It is reported commonly [that there is] fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
1 Cor 6.18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Cor 10:8 Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told [you] in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Eph 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints
You don’t have to get married, as long as you are willing not to have sex.
I Cor 7.1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman.
